There is some support available to help people deal with their abusive tendencies, but they will also need to help themselves.

  • To be able to help someone who is abusive, they need to understand what they are doing is not right.
  • They must accept that their behaviour is wrong.
  • They must also be willing to do something about it.
  • They will need to work on it themselves.

Do they see themselves in this clip?

What can you do?

As a concerned friend, you can help point them in the right direction. Always remember to look after yourself and keep yourself safe. 

  • If you can, talk to them about what you see and how it makes you feel.
  • Suggest they take the Healthy Relationship Quiz.
  • If they are under 18 suggest they contact Checkpoint in Torquay. They offer help and support to young people for various issues.
  • Show them the Respect website which provides information for anyone (male or female of any age) who is worried about their behaviour towards others. They also offer a confidential helpline.
  • If your friend has been in trouble and is under the Youth Offending Team or Probation, get them to speak to their support worker or probation officer about getting help around building better relationships.
  • If you are worried about someone's mental health advice can be found on the Mind website.

There is more information available for people who are causing harm in the Am I hurting someone? section and organisations who can help are listed in the Directory.