Most people want to have some amount of control over their own lives and what happens to them and this is ok.

What isn’t ok is taking that need for control to a level where your behaviour is threatening, hurtful and destructive to someone else in order to gain power and control over them.

Before you can do something positive about your behaviour, you need to:

  • Be honest with yourself.
  • Acknowledge that you are the only one who can change things.
  • Take responsibility for your actions.
  • Look for help and support to change. 

The Respect website has information to help you understand the impact your behaviour will have on the person or people you are hurting. 


Small steps towards self-help:

Using controlling behaviour to hurt someone else is not ok, but taking steps to take control of your own behaviour when you know you need to take time out is a really positive move.  Agreeing firm boundaries between yourself and your partner for time out will create a safe space.  Try using this simple step by step guide to taking time out.