The kind of help you may want or need will depend entirely on you and your circumstances.  Some people prefer to work through things themselves or with the help of friends and family. 

We’ve included some information in the I need help section that will help you think about what is happening to you, tips on keeping safe and help you decide what you want to do.

However, it may be time to get professional support if the behaviours you are experiencing are at a stage when you or your children are at risk of harm.  This may be physical or mental harm.  Not everyone realises they are at this stage.

Support comes in many different forms.  It may be

  • Talking anonymously to someone who will listen and won’t judge
  • Telephone outreach advice
  • Email advice and support
  • Community drop in sessions
  • One to one support from an IDVA or an ISVA
  • If you are in immediate physical danger always call the police on 999

Check the Directory for local and national services.

Risk of harm

If you have had to call the police because of a serious incident, they will assess the level of risk they think you are at using a national risk assessment checklist. 

If it is considered you are high risk, you will be referred to MARAC and an IDVA (Independent Domestic Abuse Advisor) or an ISVA (Independent Sexual Violence Advisor) will be allocated to you to give you one to one support.

MARAC is short for Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference. Basically it is a meeting where people who are at high risk of harm because of domestic abuse are discussed by representatives from statutory agencies and other organisations. The aim of a MARAC meeting is to create an action plan to keep you and your family as safe as possible. You cannot attend the meetings but your IDVA or ISVA will attend and discuss everything with you.